You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
