Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
