I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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