fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There's a naked man in my car right now.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
