She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
