so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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