Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
