You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
