Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
