btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
