i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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