Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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