next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
