she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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