he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
