I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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