I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
