Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
