Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I touched a dick in church today
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
