Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
