Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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