is your mom at the bar?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
