Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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