i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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