I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
