he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
