Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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