even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
