Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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