Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
