i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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