I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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