Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
