apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
