how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
