hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
