I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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