fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
