Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
