Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
