My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
