I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
