I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
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