A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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