did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
