Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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