Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
