Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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