Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
