I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
