I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
