Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
