ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
