I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
