well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
