I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
