"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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