Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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